Killer on Ice Cream Break in New Zealand
What is the best way to really get to know the locals while travelling?
For me the answer is: hitch-hiking and couchsurfing!
I’ve done it all my life, but standing on the road and hoping for someone interesting to stop and give you a ride is a thrill.
Many moons ago I hitch-hiked around New Zealand for 66 days. Trying to move around both islands during winter isn’t easy, sometimes the ride is just a mile along, but a mile is better than none. Sometimes took me 1 ride but other 8 to reach my destination.
Hitch-hiking is always an adventure, and here I’m gonna tell you 3 of them, they happened one after the other:
THE HOUSE IN THE WOODS
This woman picked me up and seconds into the ride she says “Would you like to have some freshly baked cookies?” and then added “I live around here, you are welcome to stay if you want”.
I did what any other sane person would do. I accepted her offer of course, FRESHLY
IS THAT A GUN OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME?
The next day with my belly full of cookies it was time to hit the road again.
A minivan stopped, it took me milliseconds to jump in.
The driver was not alone, there was another hitchhiker in, I sat on the back and locked the door.
There she was; the biggest gun I have ever seen in my life so close.
I had to breathe as this was new to me.
“What you need this gun for?” I asked, I was curious.
“I kill” He said.
My heart dropped, and a bit after I asked “Kill what?”
“Deer, I’m a hunter” he said.
I started to breath again.
A guy rides in on a friday, stays for 3 days and leaves on friday again. How is this posible?
Your guess in the comment section please.
Back to subject, the previous ride was just a warmup for what it was in store for me.
MURDER ON A BREAK
The hunter dropped me off, 2 hours later I was still waiting for my next ride. I was freezing my ass off, 4 cars passed and none even slowed down.
I was getting restless, but then and old black car slowed down and stopped.
Windows rolled down and he was eating ice cream, mind you it was winter!
And to top it all he looked extremely unhappy.
Red flags all over, I had a bad feeling but I needed to move on.
I had to go against my gut feeling and think positive, so I jumped in, hoping I’d get out of the car alive.
I sat down and thanked him.
He didn’t even look at me, not even a nod, just drove slowly eating his ice cream.
We’ve been driving for 20 minutes and at that speed it would take me at least an hour to reach my destination.
Then he finally said something, something I hadn’t heard.
Driver: You know there is a murderer out there who kills hitch-hikers?
Me: No way!
Driver: Yeah, (in a strong southern kiwi accent, very nasal) he’s been at large for many years.
Me: Oh! Well I am a lucky dude.
Driver: You no dude you gay! (I was in urgent need of a diaper change). It is a pity many people disappear.
In that moment he locked the door….. (No fucking way, is he kidding, fuck me…. no, no, not today…)
Me: utter a nervous “hmm”
I was breathing heavily but the engine was louder so he couldn’t hear I guess.
He went silent again.
I had accepted my faith.
What kind of secret message could I leave so they could find him after he killed me? I thought to myself.
I couldn’t signal people, there were only sheep along the road.
15 minutes later he spoke again.
Driver: I won´t kill!
Me: Thank you. I am relieved. I think I need to change my underwear.
He looked at me for the first time, it looked like he was considering killing me.
The longest 80 minutes of my life, felt like years.
I thought I was gonna get killed by a grumpy looking man.
I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me alive was the ice cream he was eating. The scariest ride and the longest ever. Someone eating ice cream never been that scary before or since.
Once we arrived he told me to be more careful and not to trust everyone.
I’m sure he was the killer but it was his day off.
My lucky day!
Have you ever hitch hiked?
How far would you go for freshly baked cookies?
Have you ever met a potential serial killer?
Ever needed a change of diapers after meeting someone?