What’s Green and Flies Through the Universe?

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What’s Green and Flies Through the Universe?

When I travel I’m always faced with the same problem;
Is it that I can’t find the way back to the hostel and sit in a corner to cry?
Is it the impossibility of finding a supermarket where I can use all my coins to buy bread and tomato?
No! My biggest problem is finding a beautiful postcard. As if I didn’t have enough with “Buying food vs Buying stamps” conundrum.

Just hold a minute…

Every time I’m at a souvenir store or a newsstand I keep comparing the postcards to my pictures and I like to believe my pics are a million times better.
Most postcards are pictures from the pre-internet era.
The new ones, with that Polaroid look and with pics of a flower, a random arch or a horse, are useless.
A flower??
You think my aunt could show that postcard and brag about the places her nephew has been?
No! She can’t.

Nah ah!

I can picture the postcard printing companies picking up the most hideous pictures just to mindf*ck people like me who refuse to send the same postcard to 2 members of my family or friends.

After a senseless breakdown and before the salesman comes to hug me because he can see the desperation on my face, I pick the least ridiculous cards and move on to a bigger drama:
Who will get the postcard with the half-naked Brazilian women?
Should I send it to my mom or to my gay friend to his office?

The pic’s gotta be at least 30 years old.

At this point you maybe thinking I’m a drama queen, but wait, I have more for you. I thought I was damn creative with the things I wrote on the cards, but when a friend showed what he writes, I felt like crap.

Sigh…

I asked him to send me a couple of pictures of the cards he’s sent to his friends to share with you.
He doesn’t care about the pictures, I actually think he looks for the cheapest and crapiest cards to send (I’m sure he buys bulk). And from what I gather he likes to send postcards with virgins on them and write the nastiest things on the back. That’s art if you ask me.

So what about you…
You still send postcards to family and friends?
What do you write?
Am I a drama queen?

A Hearty Nomad

7 Comments

    1. Great post! I so love the humor in your writing. Awesome. Drama queen? In the most fabulous sense. 🙂
      Postcards? Nope. Don’t send. I buy them when I remember but for me. 🙂 Last I sent postcards was in 2009 when I did my European adventure all by my lonesome self… I lie. I did go with a friend from NY to Barcelona and met up with SA friends in the Netherlands and we all went to Milan. Oh, and I was never alone in London and surround. Unnecessary and irrelevant info, right? We can hang out – just 2 drama queens exchanging tales. 🙂

    1. Please tell me you sent the bum postcard to someone’s work address.

      1. Ohh that postcard was sent to an office.
        It’s the best part!
        Thanks for passing by.

    1. Jesus, imagine telling an ex you’re preggers via postcard.. ??

      I’ve never sent a postcard in my life but I didn’t know you could have such fun with it! How often are you supposed to send them??

      I’d totally send one to my in-laws whilst they’re babysitting for us telling them we’ve won the lottery abroad and we’re not coming back.

      Nice read btw ??

      1. Oh well time to send one then! I’ll.do I quite often simply to make everyone happy 😉 even Mister Postman 😉

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